Shattering Worlds
by brainDamage089
Summary: songfic with the song in the fic to Panic! at the Disco's Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Without Taking Her Clothes Off... RWCDCDED calliegh is cheating on ryan with delko and ryan confronts her and says goodbye in one hot farewell rated M for chapter 2...
1. Angry Discoveries, Busted

A/N: Hey this is my first fic and I got it while I'm on my vacation. It's a song fic based on Panic! at the Disco's Lying Is More Fun For A Girl Than Taking Her Clothes Off. It doesn't come up now but I promise it will in later chapters. I'm planning on writing another one for House but will see how this one turns out! Read and Review and tell me if you like it

Disclaimers: Don't own CSI: Maimi or it's character's and it's Panic! at the Disco's song and Lyrics

--------------------Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off--------------------

There was no sun on one hot and balmy Miami afternoon, as a content Ryan Wolfe got out of his truck just getting back from having a peaceful lunch, unfortunately, by himself. The love of his life, also one of his favorite lab partners and lunch buddies, Calliegh Duquesne had been working all day in the Everglades with one of their best friends, and fellow CSI, Eric Delko. Ryan, knowing that she probably didn't have lunch, even had a doggy bag of the rest of his lunch for her.

He was looking down at the pavement watching his feet as he approach the office, when he heard the sound of Calliegh's familiar Hummer's engine. He smiled to himself and was almost inside but decided to go and meet up with them. The sight that he saw next would be permanently burned into his mind along with the rest of the awful memories he would rather erase.

There making their way to the back seat were his so-called love of his life, Calliegh, and his so-called best friend, Delko, making out and moving faster and faster into petting and groping as clothes began to be shed. He couldn't believe it. He felt as if his heart was dropping all the way down to his feet. The acid in his stomach began to rise as his lunch threatened to come back from whence it came. He fought back the urge and swallowed while closing his eyes causing tears that he tried to hold back slide down the side of his face.

He then looked up making sure he wasn't dreaming to see Delko staring right back at him with the most satisfied look in his eyes. He was actually grinning into the kiss that reminded Ryan of all the forbidden kisses they had shared in the back of her car as well.

One thought was the only thing in his mind as he stormed back into the building and ran all the way past his lab office not caring how many tears fell from his eyes, or to try to buck up and be a man, or that his boss Horatio Caine tried to get his attention and ran after him as Ryan burst open the door to the men's room almost braking it and emptied the contents of his stomach:

_How could she do this to me?_

--------------------Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off--------------------

Ryan was dry heaving by the time Horation finally caught up to him. He was also shivering from the cold sweat that was all over his body. He could feel his eye lids begin to close and prayed to pass out before he could face the man that he knew he had to lean on as Horatio turned him around becoming increasingly worried with Ryan's condition as his body was starting to shake.

"Ryan?" Horatio called to him as he gently patted his face. Hearing a moan of anguish come from Ryan cleared up some of his worry but not all of it as Horatio tried to get Ryan to open his eyes. "Come on, son, open your eyes and talk to me."

The word "son" always made Ryan feel confort from this father-figure of his. It was enough to earn his permanent respect and to get him to open up his eyes and show Horatio the feelings that made him reach this vulnerable state.

"I don't understand it, Horatio, any of it." Ryan said in a shaky voice as he pulled his knees up and put his elbows on top of them to put his head in his hands trying to stifle the cries as sobs came out from his hands all muffled.

Horatio kneeled beside Ryan and tilted his head so that he could get a better look at Ryan. Horatio felt as if he was talking to his own son of which he, unfortunately, had none. Still the Miami DADE CSI's were his family. " Come on, Ryan, tell me, what happened?" Horation used his name to further stress the point that Ryan could lean on Horatio and that he was man enough and didn't have hide from anyone especially not him.

Ryan looked into Horatio's eyes with a such a distant vacant and angry expression as a few more tears escaped his eyes that Horatio's blood went cold. He felt as if he was looking into a face of one of the serial killers he had to put away and not the eyes of Ryan Wolfe that were cool kind and filled with passion for life. But these _were_ Ryan's eyes.

"She's cheating on me, Horatio, and with none other than Delko." Horatio tried to open his mouth to speak but he never got the chance. "And yes, before you ask of course I'm sure! I just saw them having sex in the back of _her_ hummer." Ryan spat out pointing towards where he was for what felt like was moments ago. He sighed and crashed his head against the back of the stall squeezing his eyes shut and then opening them as cold tears of hatred fell down his cheeks. He never felt so betrayed in all of his life and he was yelling at the one person who was trying ot help him. "I'm sorry, Horatio. I just- I just don't understand it. Look at this!" Ryan shouted as he pulled a small black velvet jewlery box from the pocket of his suit jacket. "Look! I was going to ask her to marry me! We've been togther for months! And I find her with her hands all over Delko? How could---?" Ryan stopped short of his last question as tears of hatred turned to tears of saddness and the good cry that he deserved but didn't want began to surface. The safe and happy world that he knew was falling in on him and he was suffocating. He felt Horatio's arms reach out to offer him support and he fell into him shaking as he tried to control the sobs that came out of his mouth.

Horatio pulled Ryan into a fatherly hug as he patted Ryan's back and rubbed it to help calm Ryan down. "Shh. Ryan, son, it's going to be okay. Now come on, calm down so we can go talk about all of this calmly in my office." Horatio told Ryan as he felt Ryan's sobs and shaking begin to subside. Horatio then let go of Ryan and made his way out to his office. He turned around and watch Ryan take a shaky breath and regain control of him self trying to steel his eyes as best as he could.

-------------------Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off---------------------

Upon reaching his office, Horaito noticed that his trusty ME Alexx Woods had been waiting outside patiently of his office for him. Her sassy smile quickly turned to a worried mother's frown as she noticed not only Horatio's serious and equally worried demeanor but also Ryan's sorrowful eyes as he looked downcast and seemed to be following Horation almost on autopilot. Horatio opened the door to his office and as Ryan tried to enter unnoticed Alex grabbed his shoulder like she would if one of her two children tried to hide something horribly sad from her.

"Are you okay, baby?" She inquired already clucking over him to make sure he was all right. Horatio smiled as he guided Ryan away from Alexx and into his office. Alexxworried face question Horatio as Horatio smiled knowingly on her.

"Give us a few minutes Alexx. Alright?" Horatio slanted his head towards her. This was a serious look that Alexx was all to familiar with.

"Sure. Just come to the Morgue when you can I got some information on the body of that John Doe you found in the gulf that might prove interesting to you." Alexx told Horatio as she took one last look towards Ryan as he once again waswearing that dangerously vacant expression on his face. "My poor baby, tsk tsk tsk." Alexx muttered as she walked in the direction of her dead victims.

Horatio smiled to himself quickly at this as he walked back into his office. He leaned against the fron of the desk and looked to Ryan who sat on the couch and had his angry eyes locked with his concerned ones. "Ryan," Horatio began, "I want you to take the next three days off." Ryan opened his mouth to protest but Horatio stopped him imediately. "I want you to get away from everyone. It'll do you good and you'll get to think about things. If you need more time after you get what you need straightened out just let me know and don't worry about the cases we can handle everything here." Horatio smiled warmly to Ryan letting him know that everything would be alright in time. Ryan sighed and stood extending his hand. Horatio let out a breath happy to see that Ryan's eyes were Ryan's again and not that of a cold- blooded killer and they had nothing but admiraiton in them.

"Thank you so much Horatio," Ryan told him as Horatio shook his hand.

"No need." Horatio assured Ryan as they walked out of his office.

As Ryan left in the direction of the lab he caught sight of Calliegh and Eric coming in together. He tried to hide his anguish and picked up his pace realizing that Horaito was right all he wanted to do was get away.

Horatio saw Calliegh and Eric step up to him to report on their findings from the Everglades and noticed the disheveled hurried condition of their clothes and Eric's goofy and shameful grin. He motioned for them both to step inside and the seriousness of his look and the ashamed look in his eyes made Calliegh's heart stop. They both looked at eachother as if to say "Uh-oh, busted!"

-------------------Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off---------------------

A/N: My first chapter for my first fic! What did you think? I liked it! I could see it happeneing on the show even though it was a wee bit dramtic...REVIEW PLEASE! Holla!


	2. Lying Is More Fun, Tears

A/N: Hey!!! I'm back!! I know it's been a while since I've updated but I've had constant school work. When I do have time to update I'm just not inspired to do anything. I go to a special high school which means I get about a third more homework every night than a lot of the high schools around the country or at least in Jersey (as I talk in my jersey accent). So ya being bogged down with homework and practicing a guitar and keeping up my relationships with friends and family mixed in with the occasional high school drama and projects and Christmas I've been kinda out of my mind. Still now I'm forcing myself to update!!! And as a side note I have midterms that I could be studying for but I prefer this instead. Still,I know I really don't have any excuses but its really hard for me so please just bare with it. Now its time for shout outs!!!

THANKYOU TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE REVIEWED MY STORY: BulletGirl2647, kitty, MoshPit, Foxie Roxie, ilovehp15, Jazzy, and sexc carebear YOU ALL ARE AWESOME AND I THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY STUFF!!! Everyone who reviews a chapter before I post the next one gets a shout out (one of my own authors rules) cause that means to me that you love me or that you love my stuff and I just have to spread the love :P, right?

Alright enough of that… so here it is!! HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!!

Disclaimers: Again I don't own Panic! At the Disco's awesome lyrics or songs and I don't own the CSI: Miami characters…but tee hee if I just happened to have Ryan Wolfe/Jonathan Togo tied to bed… heh heh drool hmmm…

---------------------------Lying Is More Fun For A Girl Than Taking her Clothes Off------------------------------------

Calliegh was lucky that Horatio was such a gentleman and that he liked his bullet girl so much because she would never want to see Horatio madder than he was today.

Flashback: Earlier That Afternoon

Eric and Calliegh stole glances at each other as they sat on opposite sides of the room. Eric felt confident, convinced that he just stole the best woman around from Ryan. What did Ryan care? He'd get over it. He's too young for Calliegh anyway. Himself and Calliegh: now that's a perfect pair and after his little exploration of the fruits of his labors he couldn't agree with himself more.

Calliegh giggled to herself as she watched his eyes rake up and down her body with a satisfied glint that immediately changed to a ravenously hungry glare and then back again. (chills)

But everything in the room got deadly serious and thunderously silent as Horatio slammed his door shut. When he sat down behind his desk Calliegh's stomach fell as the most ashamed look was pointed in her direction and then at Eric's.

"I'm ashamed and terrified of the display you two put on this afternoon in the precinct parking lot. Did it never occur to the two of you who could be watching? Like one of the judges, for example, our lab just barely regained its reputation and the two of you could've damaged it permanently.

"Horatio, I---" Calliegh tried to say something as she could see the anger similar to that of her father when he was drunk boiled behind Horatio's eyes. The most threatening part was that Horatio was completely steady and calm as he talked to the both of them. Tears began to sting her eyes threaten to swell over.

"I'm not finished." Horatio raised his voice only slightly. He turned over to Eric whose jaw was working overdrive as he ground his teeth trying to maintain his pride and solidness. "I would never expect that of you Eric, especially because IAB has been after you since Speed's death. One mistake and they could fire you and I wouldn't be able to save you or your reputation. Still I think that you've learned from your mistakes today. So I will let you continue working seeing as how we will be one man short. You can go." _'One man short', Calliegh thought, who was it that left?_ They both got up to leave but Horatio made Calliegh sit back down with a nod of his head considering that her eyes almost never left his gaze. She waited patiently for him to speak but she was ready to scream inside.

"Calliegh what is going on with you? I knew you and Ryan were together and I thought you were happy. What's going on?" He said genuinely concerned as he sat on the front of desk inches from her.

Tears that she had been trying to hide spilled over as her jaw quivered in relief and Horatio gave her a tissue and she calmed herself down. "I don't know it just happened. The car today was the first time and I didn't want it to happen but somehow it just... happened. I--- I--- I can't explain it." She shook her head as she struggled to find her words but she couldn't. "But I can tell you that at this moment now that I have my head back together I regret every minute of it. It's like a bad dream." The tears began to spill over again.

"It's okay. Just calm down but I'm not going to pretend that I'm on your side. I can't imagine what this is doing to Ryan. Take the day off to sort things out, or at least try to. But before you do, go see Alexx about the body you found in the glades." Horatio said to Calliegh as he watched Calliegh leave his office. He hoped and prayed that things in this office would get back to normal soon.

"Yes, Horatio." Calliegh all of a sudden turned around. "I'm really sorry."

"Don't apologize to me, everyone makes mistakes and I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." He said as she watched her walk away only to run into Delko.

Calliegh came inches from bumping into Eric as she almost didn't know where she was walking. Still Horatio was right she needed to talk to Alexx. "Eric I don't have time for this." Calliegh said very firmly to Eric. She was tired and what she really needed was a few rounds in the firing bullpen and then some sleep in her apartment. She was almost tapped her foot in impatience as Delko was trying to tell something important.

"Calliegh, listen, after all of that in Horatio's office, I don't think that we should take this any further. He's right its not good for this office or our working relationship." He sighed as he felt a weight was going to be lifted. He was so wrong. Calliegh was starting to get hysterical.

"YA think? Maybe it was the fact that, oh I don't know, we were COMPLETELY EMBARRASSED!! Or maybe it was the fact that I ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND THAT THIS PERFECTLY GOOD CAREER AND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH _MY BOYFRIEND_ COULD BE COMPLETELY RUINED!!! Ya Eric I think this is _way_ over!" Calliegh stormed off towards the ME's office leaving a very pink and very shocked Eric behind her. He never thought she could get quite that angry. He cleared his throat and walked toward his office as people began to poke their heads out into the hallway.

---------------------------Lying Is More Fun For A Girl Than Taking her Clothes Off------------------------------------

Calliegh was in her hummer driving home and she had regained some of her energy that was lost from earlier in the day. She would never forget however the looks of shame and disappointment on both Horatio's and Alexx's faces. She also couldn't look herself in the mirror as the shame in her own eyes kept on staring her reflection down. She was losing ground and fast. She didn't like where this was going.

Her guard was up as she entered her apartment. She felt like someone had been inside it as she dropped her bags and took off her shoes. She didn't get an easy feeling as she saw a blood red rose petal path edged with tea light candles lead towards her bedroom. Her bedroom was surrounded by candles and the soft glow almost made her cry but the romance was poisoned by the color of the petals and the fact that she still didn't know who hat done all of this.

She began to zone out as she heard her stereo turn on and begin to play a CD. It read Panic! At the Disco, one of her favorites even not a lot of people liked it. Then as she felt a pair of bare muscular familiar arms envelope her and tilt her head up she heard Lying Is More Fun For A Girl Than Taking Her Clothes Off playing in the background.

She gasped and sighed his name as Ryan shirtless and in a pair of jeans with all of the angst and passion he had bottled up inside of him poured out into their passion play as he whispered the lyrics to the song into her ear.

"_Is it still me that makes you sweat?  
Am I who you think about in bed?  
When the lights are dimming and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress_?" Their actions seemed to mimic the lyrics of the song as Ryan guided Calliegh's hands to take off her clothes. She whimpered with hot anticipation. She never knew the passion that was behind Ryan's love for her until now. She didn't know he could be so erotic and sexy. He forcibly turned her around. She was expecting him to be crying but all she got was cold hard slate. He brought his face to hers so that they were millimeters apart. So that she could feel his breath and almost taste his emotions.   
"_Well think of what you did, and how I hope to God he was worth it  
When the lights are dimming and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin._" He shoved her on the bed and sneered as he crawled on top of her sealing his anger and disgust in her with a kiss and he grazed his hands up her bare body gently touching her breasts. She jumped into his rock hard body and shouted "Ooh" as he slowed down again laying gently on top her and continued his assault on every sense he had. This time he forced her to look into his eyes and with ease took off his pants. Now it was just skin against skin.  
"_I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck  
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie, you had me  
Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of  
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat  
No no no, you know it will always just be me"_ The chorus was forgotten by the two as Ryan continued to ravage Calliegh. He kissed her and touched her proving to her what he had already said. That he was better than any boy she'd ever meet. That he was _definitely_ better than Delko.  
_Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster!_ Their pulses increased as Ryan let his fingers slide into her core. She grabbed his hair and pulled in sexual excitement as she got a moan to escape his lips. She was already hot and moist from just hearing him whisper to her and everything he had done to her body, so it didn't take much for her to orgasm the first time as she then clawed at Ryan's muscular back._  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls  
Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls  
Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?_  
_So I guess we're back to us, so camera man swing the focus!  
In case I lost my train of thought where was it that we last left off?  
Let's pick up pick up_ Oh but he wasn't finished yet. He pulled her up off of the bed and threw her into the chair at the other end of the room. He kneeled in front of her. He could see that this was beginning to get a little much for her so he took it down a notch. Besides, he had a lot more to tell her. He began once again to whisper in her ear.  
"_Oh now I do recall, we just were getting to the part  
Where the shock sets in and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick_" Ryan ran his hands along her throat as he saw her gulp and he made sure she didn't get sick by kissing it away and stifling her sobs by easing his tongue into her mouth and making her sigh with his kiss. But it was his turn to get some satisfaction out of this. He stood up and made her kneel in front of him and continued. _  
_"_I hope you didn't expect to get all of the attention  
Let's not get selfish, did you really think I'd let you kill this chorus?_" He growled as he took a fistful of her angelic blonde hair and she gladly took his length in her mouth. Once again the chorus was forgotten.  
_Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster!_ She always knew how to get his blood to escape from everything up top and make it all head towards where she was working him over. The things she could do with her tongue on his length were amazing. He was coming when she began to squeeze his balls with the pulse of his member. _  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls  
Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls  
Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?_ He looked down to see her looking up at him with a satisfied grin. A grin she would regret. It only added to his ambition to further his mission: to leave her with something that she will remember for the rest of her life because neither of them will love like this or be in love again. _  
Dance to this beat  
Dance to this beat  
Dance to this beat_ He then guided her back to the bed and they crawled towards the pillows and crawled under the sheets with Ryan on top. They began to kiss as the fire between each other began to renew. Ryan's hardness returned and Calliegh could feel a heat grow in her belly. But just as she felt Ryan at the edge of her womanhood about to enter her and fulfill the desire that she wanted to be filled since this began Ryan stopped, he just stopped. _  
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster!  
Let's get these teen hearts beating faster_ He leaned to the side and found her ear and nibbled on her neck and ear lobe before he continued his whispering ecstasies.  
"_I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck  
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie, you had me  
Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of  
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat  
No no no you know it will always just be me_"  
_Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster faster!  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls  
Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls  
Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls  
Dance to this beat  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls  
Dance to this beat  
And hold a lover close _After he had finished whispering to her. He sealed everything that he felt and everything that this song held for their situation and entered her. They were both so turned on that they knew each other's rhythm right away and moved in and out of each other fluidly. They deepened their thrusts until they were both screaming and sweating. They both were brought to a violent climax and cried as they felt their souls reach a connection most people never feel in a lifetime. Ryan emptied his seed into her and when he was finished he got up from the bed and put his clothes back on. Calliegh was sobbing as the climax racked her body. All she wanted was Ryan next to her to hold her. She reached for him but he wasn't there. She looked to see that he was already leaving her for good. _  
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster!  
Let's get these teen hearts beating faster_

"Ryan _WAIT_!!!" She screamed and sobbed to him at the same time. He looked back as he pulled on his jacket. Her hair was tossed and all sexed up and the candlelight that shone on it and her skin made her look other worldly but she, he assumed, was no longer his. He also felt that he had permanently won her heart.

"Sweetie, you had me." He said to her with his back towards her as he walked away with his eyes downcast so that she couldn't see him cry. He could hear her sobs as he closed the door to her apartment and left. Even though he loved her he prayed it was for good because the pain that he felt was more that he could ever bare again.

---------------------------Lying Is More Fun For A Girl Than Taking her Clothes Off------------------------------------

A/N: orgasm ok that's it Ryan fantasy out of my system. But damn did he look fine to me. What did ya'll think? Let me know, I'll just hang out here and scream in excitement over him. Heh . 


	3. The Morning After Makes Life So Bitter!

A/N: OMG OMG OMG I AM SOOO SORRY!!! I am sooo sorry that I have not updated this in as long as I have!!! I can't believe I did that!!! I feel so bad for all of you my readers!!! I soo did not mean to do that but I had the worst writer's block and could not think of where to take this!!! NOW though I have an idea that I am going to run like mad with!!! There's really nothing exciting that's going to happen we're just going to see the aftermath of that hot sex that they've had and I'll go from there!!! But ya thank you to all that have stuck with me and are maybe a little frustrated with me!! YOU MY READERS ARE AWESOME!!!

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT REVIEWED THE LAST CHAPTER AND THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU FOR BEING PATIENT WITH ME I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVING ME FOR NOT UPDATING IN SOO LONG!!! And the lovely people who reviewed the last chapter and get thanks for reading are: Jazzy, ilovehp15, xMegh, and kitty!!!

Ok so enough of that let's get on with the show!!!

Disclaimers: I was not brilliant enough to come up with these characters so ya don't own them.

---------------------------Lying Is More Fun For A Girl Than Taking her Clothes Off---------------------------

Calliegh woke the next morning with a pounding headache and wondered why her body was sore and why she still felt completely exhausted as she reached for her alarm clock. As she turned it off, the silence in her usually not so silent apartment made everything that had happened the evening before rush back into her body with such force that she began to sob uncontrollably.

Flashback: The Night Before…

Calliegh awoke late at night after having nothing but nightmares of seeing nothing but Ryan's retreating back while hearing the words "sweetie, you had me," said in his voice echo in her mind. In her dream, he walked mere steps in front of her and the harder she reached out for him the harder it was to actually reach him until he disappeared into nothingness. She realized opening her burning eyes that she had cried herself to sleep. Ryan's retreating back had been real and everything about that evening before her miserable slumber was far from a dream.

She looked around her room. It must have been no earlier than 9 o'clock that night. The candles around her had all gone out the wax had dried and the rose petals were still scattered all over the floor. Some of them she realized would were scattered more then some tracing a pattern in where they had walked, kneeled or had sex, which was merely her default detective mind working in over drive for the rest of her mind was overloaded and practically dead.

She suddenly felt tears in her eyes as she got up from the bed. She stood in a spot on the floor not covered in rose petals near her nightstand that would not make her relive through touch what had happened earlier. The more she looked around the room the more she realized that this was something that she didn't think she would ever be able to fix. Ryan had left her permanently and she had little if any hope of ever being with him ever again. This realization brought new tears to her eyes. She let out great heavy sobs as they racked her body making her fall to the floor on her knees.

Her tears fell onto the rose petals and even though they were beautiful they blurred in her teary vision into blood red malice as she all of sudden became very frustrated and very angry.

She was angry at the whole situation. She blamed Eric for flirting with her and for womanizing her into having sex with him. She was angry at Ryan for leaving her the way he did and for not thinking that they could work it out. AND he would leave her sexually frustrated and unable to find anything like what she had experienced with him ever again. She was angry with Horatio and Alexx for their ashamed looks. But more than anything, she was angry with herself for making this mess. She was also frustrated because she knew nothing about how to fix it. _There's no way I'll ever be able to_, she thought as her jaw quivered and she let out now anguished sobs.

Calliegh banged her fists onto the unforgiving rug like a child would if they were having a frustrated tantrum. She thrashed around and swept angrily at the rose petals until they didn't lie in front of her. She did this until her hands were irritated and threatening to get rug burn.

She rose unsteadily onto her feet almost as if she were very drunk and bitter. That's how she felt as she stumbled near her vanity where the biggest concentration of candles was. Her feet were shaky and gave her very little support and her vision was blurry with tears. She gripped onto the edge of the tabletop and steadied herself until she let out an angry scream and threw some of the candles across the room. They hit any number of pictures with once happy faces of the couple Ryan and Calliegh in them that lay on the walls and on the furniture. She threw her arm across the table sending candles ranging in all sizes from big to small flying onto the floor. She ran around the room clearing any and all surfaces that she could see free of candles, rose petals, anything that made her think of him.

She was about to crawl back into bed when she remembered the path Ryan had made for her that led to the bedroom. She immediately ran out into hallway found the path that lead to the front door and kicked and wiped at it violently so that it could no longer be seen. This was done until she finally realized that she was spent and tired. She sobbed as she walked into her kitchen. She felt so weak as she fell to her knees and prayed to God that somehow everything would turn out alright and exactly how it was meant to. Her vision blurred and faded until it turned to black as she fell onto the floor and passed out with a very gruesome sounding thud.

That would be the last thing she would remember before she woke up the next morning somehow back into her bed turning off her alarm clock.

End Flashback…

She looked down at her hands just to check that this was all real. It was as she saw her hand glowing an angry red at her. _This can't be happening to me_, she thought as put her head in her very sore hands. She realized that the rest of her body felt the same way; from shear exhaustion and from the sex. She didn't want to go to work, she didn't want to anything at the moment.

Calliegh tried her best to remain calm but she wasn't expecting Eric to pick up the phone in the lab. She practically sobbed into the phone after saying hello to him. Of course he asked if was ok and why she wasn't coming into work and she almost yelled at him that she didn't care if didn't have a reason but told him that she just didn't feel well. The more he talked the more she had to hold back her sobs and her anger that made the lump in the back of her throat get bigger and bigger until she could hardly speak. She thought he bought it as he gave her his get-well wishes and hung up the phone.

She looked around the room and saw the mess that she would eventually have to clean. She didn't want to do that she didn't want to do anything. She just wanted to sleep. Yet she couldn't. She looked around and suddenly felt unclean and dirty. Deciding to take a shower, she walked into the bathroom taking out some towels. The water was scalding hot as it poured down her body but she didn't care as she needed to not only clean her body but her mind and soul as well. _Most importantly_, Calliegh thought as the water helped to make her think clearly, _I need to figure out how I'm going to clean this mess I made with Ryan_.

---------------------------Lying Is More Fun For A Girl Than Taking her Clothes Off---------------------------

Little did she know that when she hung up the phone a very nervous and worried Eric put down everything he was working on and almost ran to Horatio's office.

"H, you got a second?" He asked impatiently not caring if he was on the phone or talking to anyone else this was important, something was wrong with Horatio's Bullet Girl. Lucky for him, Horatio wasn't doing anything at the moment but looking over a few files.

"Sure..." Horatio looked up to see Eric's very worried face. The kind of face he only saved for when something had been wrong with his sister. "Eric what's wrong?" He questioned coming out from behind his desk to walk into the middle of the room.

"I think something is wrong with Calliegh. She practically sobbed into the phone while I was talking to her and said that she just wasn't feeling well." Horatio tilted his head towards Eric staring at the floor in concerned thought. "I mean, come on H, you know that we practically have to shove Calliegh back into her car when she comes in looking sick. She never avoids work just because she's not well! Something is definitely wrong with her! What do we do?" Eric asked impatiently his jaw at work as he just watched Horatio look at the floor and not doing anything. _How can he just stand there?_ Eric thought to himself. Finally Horatio spoke to Eric.

"I know you're concerned Eric but right now I think that what she needs now is privacy." Horatio had finally looked into Eric's eyes silencing any protests he had had. "I don't think you're one of her favorite people at the moment after hearing that lovely display in the hallway yesterday." Eric looked away from Horatio's gaze and turned a shade of crimson making Horatio chuckle. Eric nodded when Horatio told him that it would be best for everyone if he kept up with the lab's many cases. Eric had opened the door to leave when Horatio instructed him to do something that he knew needed to be done if anything about this situation would get back to normal. "Oh Eric there is however someone that you need to see after work. I suggest you face the music before things get worse." Eric looked back at Horatio and nodded knowing exactly whom he meant. Ryan and he had never been the greatest of friends and his jaw worked in overtime wondering how many hours he had until his jaw would be in pain.

---------------------------Lying Is More Fun For A Girl Than Taking Her Clothes Off ---------------------------

Ryan woke up that morning very late. He tried to turn his head from facing the ceiling but all he felt was pain. He had never felt a headache like this before. It pounded from the front his brain to the back and around again. If he tried to close his eyes they would tear and even when they were open the light burned and made his head hurt even more. He wondered why and groaned remembering why he had the headache and what he had done previously the night before.

Flashback: The Night Before In a Strip Club Somewhere In Miami…

Ryan watched as the girl in front of him danced seductively on the pole. He had flashed his badge to get in and they had showed him the courtesy of giving him a private room with just him and a girl of his choice.

He had ordered a Jack Daniels and told the waitress to keep them coming no matter what. Right now all he wanted to do was get drunk and fast. He wanted the memories he had of Calliegh to fade and the only way he could see that happening would be to consume as much alcohol as humanly possible. He also told the DJ to play nothing but rock music that ranged anywhere from thrash metal to the smoothest classic rock. Sometimes it was good to be a detective.

As the girl danced in front of him and began to edge her way near him he was drunk enough to see Calliegh's face in hers. Sure she was a blonde but she was nowhere near Calliegh's likeness. But Calliegh was all he could see. The alcohol he realized very bitterly to himself only made it worse all he could see was _her_. The stripper began to rub her knee on his thigh beginning to do a lap dance and began whispering in her ear about what fantastically erotic things she could do for him. She backed away so that he could see her fake intent in her eyes but was shocked to see the boiling anger in his eyes. She was used to those disgustingly drunk and clumsy grins guys wore for her not the look that Ryan had in his eyes this very moment. He had a look that told her she maybe was going to be dead.

"Do for me? What about what you did to me Calliegh?" He asked shoving the blonde stripper off of him. He growled out loud in anguish as he tried to lunge at her. The bouncer that had been outside their room ensuring their privacy had chose just this moment to peek in when he heard the yelling. He caught Ryan mid-lunge. It wasn't very hard for him to do considering he was like every other bouncer in the business. Big. The stripper ran away scared for her life from the room in tears saying that she'd never do that for any cop ever again. He had promptly thrown Ryan out of the club telling him never to come back again unless it was with his people.

Ryan threw a rock he picked up from the ground at the doors to the club. He let out an angry scream before he finally submitted to the cries that no longer wanted to be inside of him. In between cries all anyone could hear would be his drunken muttering of how-could-she-do-this-to-me-?'s over and over. As he stood up he looked around and located his car. He didn't care how drunk he was he was going to drive home no matter what. He didn't even care if he died on the way home. Anything was better than being tormented the rest of his miserable life with thoughts of Calliegh, her body, her laugh, her eyes, everything about Calliegh.

He didn't get his wish however as he drunkenly sauntered into his apartment into his bedroom and fell into the middle of his bed.

End Flashback…

He groaned in embarrassment remembering the night previously. He was shocked that he could remember anything at all. _I shouldn't even be alive right now_, he thought to himself remembering only spots of the drunken drive home and only the first ten glasses of Jack Daniel's he consumed; the rest had all blurred into one big glass.

As he tried to count the number of drinks he had his stomach had then chosen to pay attention as the bile began to mound in his throat. He rolled out of bed and fell onto the floor. The sudden lurch made the bile reach his mouth as he ran to the bathroom. After emptying the contents he threw his head onto the wall across from the toilet.

"This is going to be a long day." Ryan said to the air before his stomach lurched again. He spent the better part of the day in the bathroom before his body had finished rejecting the alcohol he consumed. He didn't even know what time it was. However after several aspirin a very strong cup of coffee for his stomach and a cold beer for his hangover, Ryan was finally able to walk into his living room. He still however felt drunk only now it was because he was emotionally angry and physically completely numb.

He was ready to drink away the rest of the day and get drink again before the sun came down on his first day off when he heard a knock at the door…

---------------------------Lying Is More Fun For A Girl Than Taking her Clothes Off---------------------------

Eric felt the rest of the day go painfully slow until he was let off the clock that day. He made his was to the car and stared at it knowing that the first stop he would make while on his way home was to Ryan's apartment. He wondered how he was doing. He also wondered what he himself would do in a situation like that. He groaned out loud at his stupidity for making the mess he had of his friends' perfectly good relationship before barreling into his car and speeding of towards Ryan's place.

He got there in record time as he made his was up to Ryan's door. He knocked softly but there was no answer. He had a lot of trepidation again wondering if it wasn't too late to leave but then he remembered the reason why he made it there in record time in the first place and knocked a little louder. This mess was his fault and he had to fix it before things got worse. He heard a groan and loud thumping steps and gulped as he heard the locks to the apartment door open and a disaster looking Ryan answer the door.

Ryan's angry eyes took in Eric for two seconds before his body caught up with him. "…hate…you…" was all Ryan could get out as he tried to take a drunken swing at Eric before passing out into Eric's arms.

"Wow, Ryan take it easy." Eric said pulling the arm that he caught from Ryan's would-punch before pulling Ryan back into his apartment and shutting the door behind him. Things were far worse than he feared. He didn't even want to know what Calliegh was like if Ryan was this bad.

---------------------------Lying Is More Fun For A Girl Than Taking her Clothes Off---------------------------

A/N: AND that's the update for now!!! Hope that's enough to feed you angry readers for a while lol. I liked this cause I think that it gave enough but let me have room to continue and write more so ya anyway let me know what you think!!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!!


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